“You do not need pasta.” — Me laying in bed talking to myself at 1:30 in the morning  (via an-old-fashioned-villian)

posted 5 hours ago with 142,359 notes
via  ·  source

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

posted 5 hours ago with 153,160 notes
via  ·  source

magnezone:

don’t get it twisted like i respect bugs for being the best they can be in spite of their specific assigned flesh prisons and their ecological significance but they need to stay the fuck away from me 

posted 5 hours ago with 17,353 notes
via  ·  source

posted 5 hours ago with 104,705 notes
via  ·  source

[HQS] 5 Seconds of Summer arrive at Jimmy Kimmel Live! - July 24, 2014.

posted 1 day ago with 8,131 notes
via  ·  source

rosietheriveter:

remember: if you want to be taken seriously as a female sports fan you must have watched the sport for a minimum of 27 years, be able to recall the entire roster from last year and 1983, never insinuate that a player is the least bit attractive, and memorize the rule book backwards in Cantonese

posted 1 day ago with 11,332 notes
via  ·  source

serfboarts:

thatsmoderatelyraven:

what even is this show

the deleted scene from american horror story: Coven

posted 2 days ago with 227,709 notes
via  ·  source

rapniall:

when the whole squad is being fake

image

posted 2 days ago with 12,747 notes
via  ·  source

posted 3 days ago with 81,695 notes
via  ·  source

jesusandals:

laracroftspenis:

s/o to this page of emojis

#how to kill your husband and take it all 

posted 3 days ago with 85,425 notes
via  ·  source